Author: Brandon  |  Category: Brandon Burton

Parker’s day of fun

I have had a lot of comments and bickering to the effect that I don’t include Parker in our blog at all. Well…
HIS DAY HAS COME!!

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After a nice day at the office I come home to find my wife sitting on the floor playing with the boys. She mentions, in passing, the toilet might be clogged.

Only slightly concerned I went in to the bathroom to see if in fact, this was the case.

It was.

After about 30 minutes of flushing, flooding, and plunging I decided it best to inquire again as to what the problem may be. (sometimes the full truth is not always so forthcoming from a female)

My loving and dear sweet wife says, “Well I saw parker go in there with a rock and didn’t think much of it. After going in the bathroom I saw, what looked to be, a friendly piece of poo in the toilet. So I flushed.”

I was getting a little red at this point, “You flushed.”

“Yeah, then it made some clanging noises, and I knew it wasn’t poo.”

“REALLY? Go figure” I said.

After cooling down a bit from the fact that my wife felt the good ol Toilet 3004 model could handle a rock the size of Kansas I interviewed her further. The more info I got from her, the worse it became.

“Well I just kept flushing, hoping it would go through. Then it kept clanging and seemed like it was going further back there. I thought I had almost done it, then the toilet seemed fine.”

You see at this point water could still get past the rock just fine. Wait there’s more.

“When was this?” I asked my dear sweet sweet wife.

“A few days ago.”

“WHAT????? a few days ago, you mean to tell me we have been going and doing our business for a few days after that rock was in there.”

You see, my dear sweet sweet wife’s mind it wasn’t a problem until it was visually a problem. At any time right after it happened she may have been able to stick her arm up there and retrieve the unwanted object. The more prudent thing to do was wait to see if the problem had been solved, or would fix itself.

BELOW IS THE RESULT

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In order to completely remove the rock I had to take our toilet completely apart. Anybody who has done this knows it is not a pretty task. Cheers to the Cox’s for owning a porta potty business. I should have called you.

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When you take the top part off water goes everywhere, so make sure you flush one last time. Though that in itself will result in a bubblegum drop* flood.

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The rock was lodged right at the goosneck of the toilet, so as to not get bubblegum drops* all over the bathroom floor. I assure you once I was able to dislodge the rock with my hand bubblegum drops went all over the tub of the bathroom. Instead of making my wife clean it up, like I should have, I went after it. I deserve something for this for sure.

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Lesson learned.

1. Ask your wife EVERY day, if there is a problem with the house. Suggested question:

Did you see the kids put anything in anything, the dishwasher, garbage disposal, toilet, washing machine, dryer, furnace, engine, freezer, sink etc?

Is there any leaks, cracks, dripping, sounds, bugs, rodents, or weird smells you are aware of?

Overall do you feel there could be issue with anything we own? Even if you don’t think it is a problem yet, or could be fixed already.

2. A problem doesn’t “FIX ITSELF”

3. Keep our dearest Parker out of the bathroom.

4. Stay at the office longer and you won’t have to deal with it.

I just want to say, I hope my dear sweet sweet wife knows next time is her turn!

* I have used the words bubblegum drop to protect the innocent from actually hearing the true words “seeping poo” that would have been used in each case. I figured it would be easier to take in the story.